Joke: Marriage

The First 3 Years of Marriage

• In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.

• In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.

• In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen

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A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted".

The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

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Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock

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"The poor wish to be rich, the rich wish to be happy, the single wish to be married, and the married wish to be dead." ~Ann Landers

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"I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste." ~David Bissonnette

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"Women are cursed, and men are the proof." ~Rosanne Barr

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One rainy Sunday afternoon, a young couple were on their way to their Church to get married. On the way there, their car lost control and slammed into a telephone pole - killing them both instantly.

The couple soon found themselves standing in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, welcoming them to Heaven. The young woman asks Peter if they could get married in Heaven, since their time on Earth was cut short. He replies that he'll get back with them on that request.

A month later, St. Peter finds them and announces that they can - in fact - get arried in Heaven. To his suprise, the woman asks "Just wondering, if things don't work out will we be able to get a divorce?"

With a stern look in his eye, Peter blurts out "Look lady, it took me a month to find a preacher up here... you really think I'm gonna find a lawyer?"

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Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a husband.