A sardar went to STD shop.
and slapped the owner twice.
WHY??
"Dial karne se pahle 2 lagayiye"
it's written there.
***********************
Two sardars bought 2 horses.
They couldnt distinguish between them
so one guy cut the left ear of a horse.
Tht night their combined enemy came and cut the left ear of other horse also
Again right ear.
Like tht both horses lost
ears,
tail,
eyes,
even 3 legs.
When forth leg also cut,
enemy cut forth leg of other also.
Again next morning same confusion.
Then they think a lot.
and finally one guy got an idea.
Can u tell me wht it may be?
Then they thought a lot
and finally one person said
"Ok this problem wont get solved like this.
From now.
U take white one. i will take black one."
********************
A sardar proposed to a lady.
she said "bring me crocodile shoes, i will marry u"
he went to Africa.
After some yrs, His frnds and relatives started searching him.
Finally found him in Africa fighting with a crocodile.
They got scared and watching from distance.
Finally he killed it and saw it's feet.
and said "79th, again bare foot"
and left it and went searching for another one.
********************
A sardar taking rest in a beach
then a person came to him and asked "R u relaxing?"
he said "no, i am Gulab singh"
he left and some other also asked same way.
so he got vexed and started going to change the place.
while going, he saw a person sat there.
he asked tht person "R u relaxing?"
he said "yes i am relaxing"
then sardar slapped him and said
"there every body searching for u. u r taking rest here?"
*************************
Koun Bhanega Carorepathi
Sardar went to participate
Amithabh said "If u answer 5 questions, You can take 10,000Rs and ............"
First question is
"Whts the capital of A.P"?
Sardar said "Hyderabad"
"R U sure?"
"Yes"
"Pakka?"
"Yes"
"Confidant?"
"Yes"
"Lock kar dhiya jai?"
"Yes"
"Right answer. You got 1000Rs"
"Hey dont cheat. you asked 5 questions already. 10000 Nikaal"
***********************
American told sardar : Hamare desh me 90% shaadi e-mail se hoti hai.
Sardar : Kya bath hai. Hamari desh me 100% female se hoti hai.
***********************
Where were you born ?
sardar : Punjab.
Boss : which part ?
sardar : Kya which part ? Whole body born in punjab.
***********************
Sardar : What is the name of your car ?
Lady : I forgot the name, but is starts with "T".
Sardar : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai. Hamaara gaadi petrol se start hoti hai.
***********************
Sardar was busy removing a wheel from his auto. A man asks sardar why are you removing a wheel from your auto.
sardar : Cant you read the board. Parking is only for 2 wheeler
***********************
Interviewer : When is your birthday.
Sardar : 13th Oct.
Interviewer : which year ?
sardar : Oye Ullu ke patte : Every year.
***********************
2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1 : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
sardar 2 : Dont worry, I have one more
***********************
Q: Aapko garmi lage tho aap kya karthe hai?
sardar: cooler ke samne bait jatha hoon?
Q: phir bhi garmi lage tho
sardar: cooler on kar letha hoon
***********************
Santa came to Chennai and wanted to do shopping in Burma Bazaar. His Tamilian friend told him that the prices will be costly and hence asked him to bargain for half the price .
Santa went and asked the price of stereo for which the vendor told 2000 Rs.
Santa asked for Rs.1000.
The vendor told he can give for Rs.1800 for which Santa told no, no only Rs.900.
Vendor told ok, I will give it for 1500 Rs for which Santa bargained for Rs.750.
It was going on like this when finally vendor out of irritation said "I will give you the stereo free of cost."
Santa asked "Will you give two?"
***********************
There were 4 Sardars in Mumbai. They decided to start a business.
They had a lot of discussions on the type of business and finally decided to start a hotel.
They selected the best of locations and cooks and built the hotel.
The hotel was inaugrated and was awaiting its first customer.
The Sardars waited and waited but nobody turned up.
The story was the same the next day. A week passed but noboby turned up.
WHY?
Bcos there was a sign at the entrance "Visitors not allowed."
After the failure of their hotel they decided to start an auto garage.
They bought the best of car servicing equipments and soon started the garage.
The 4 Sardars waited that day for the first car to arrive but no car entered their Garage.
They waited for one day, 2 days ,a week but no car came to their garage.
WHY?
B'cos their garage was on the first floor.
***********************
A sardar always calls his wife as "dear, darling, sweet heart, jaanu" like that.
Why?
B'se he forgot her name.
***********************
sardar says "i saw my wife going to movie with a strange man"..his friend asks "didnt u follow then?"
sardar says "oye nahi yaar saala meri wife ko movie le gaya jo mei pehle dekh chuka tha.........."
***********************
Santa reported for his university final examination, which consists of "Yes/No" type questions. He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing it, marking the answer sheet Yes for Heads and No for Tails.
Within half an hour he is all done whereas the rest of the class is sweating it out. During the last few minutes, he is seen desperately flipping the coin, muttering and sweating.
The moderator, alarmed, approached him and asks what is going on.
Santa replies, "I'm rechecking my answers and I don't think I did very good."
***********************
first sardar says i kiss my wife everyday bfore i go to office
second says i kiss ur wife everyday after u go to office
other says no no i only kissed first
***********************
Lady to inspector Santa: My husband went to buy potatos 5 days ago, he hasn't came back yet!
Santa: Why don't u cook something else?
***********************
Pakistani, Bangladeshi and OUR Sardar are in a bar one night having a beer.
The Pakistani drinks his beer and suddenly throws his glass in the air,
pulls out a gun and shoots the glass to pieces.
He says "In Islamabad our glasses are so cheap that we don't need to drink
from the same one twice."
The Bangladeshi [obviously impressed by this drinks his beer, throws
his glass into the air, pulls out his gun and shoots the glass to pieces.
He says "In Dhaka we have so much sand to make the glasses that we don't
need to drink out of the same glass twice either."
OUR Sardar, cool as a cucumber, picks up his beer and drinks it, throws his
glass into the air, pulls out his gun and shoots the
Pakistani and Bangladeshi.
He says "In India we have so many Pakistanis and Bangladeshi that we don't
need to drink with the same ones twice."
Balle balle !!!!
***********************
Santa Sigh photographer focusing a dead body's face in a funeral function, suddenly all
relatives beat him why? He said "SMILE PLEASE
***********************
A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell. Santa does not turns up for 4 days.
Lady calls again, Santa replies: I am coming daily from 4 days, I press the bell,
but no one comes out.
***********************
A Sardar & his wife filed an application 4 Divorce.
Judge asked: How'll U divide your 3 children?
Sardar replied: Ok! We"ll apply NEXT YEAR
***********************
Ek sardar paani pee raha tha,..
ab sardar paani bhi nahi pee sakta kya,
usme bhi joke chahiye ?
and slapped the owner twice.
WHY??
"Dial karne se pahle 2 lagayiye"
it's written there.
***********************
Two sardars bought 2 horses.
They couldnt distinguish between them
so one guy cut the left ear of a horse.
Tht night their combined enemy came and cut the left ear of other horse also
Again right ear.
Like tht both horses lost
ears,
tail,
eyes,
even 3 legs.
When forth leg also cut,
enemy cut forth leg of other also.
Again next morning same confusion.
Then they think a lot.
and finally one guy got an idea.
Can u tell me wht it may be?
Then they thought a lot
and finally one person said
"Ok this problem wont get solved like this.
From now.
U take white one. i will take black one."
********************
A sardar proposed to a lady.
she said "bring me crocodile shoes, i will marry u"
he went to Africa.
After some yrs, His frnds and relatives started searching him.
Finally found him in Africa fighting with a crocodile.
They got scared and watching from distance.
Finally he killed it and saw it's feet.
and said "79th, again bare foot"
and left it and went searching for another one.
********************
A sardar taking rest in a beach
then a person came to him and asked "R u relaxing?"
he said "no, i am Gulab singh"
he left and some other also asked same way.
so he got vexed and started going to change the place.
while going, he saw a person sat there.
he asked tht person "R u relaxing?"
he said "yes i am relaxing"
then sardar slapped him and said
"there every body searching for u. u r taking rest here?"
*************************
Koun Bhanega Carorepathi
Sardar went to participate
Amithabh said "If u answer 5 questions, You can take 10,000Rs and ............"
First question is
"Whts the capital of A.P"?
Sardar said "Hyderabad"
"R U sure?"
"Yes"
"Pakka?"
"Yes"
"Confidant?"
"Yes"
"Lock kar dhiya jai?"
"Yes"
"Right answer. You got 1000Rs"
"Hey dont cheat. you asked 5 questions already. 10000 Nikaal"
***********************
American told sardar : Hamare desh me 90% shaadi e-mail se hoti hai.
Sardar : Kya bath hai. Hamari desh me 100% female se hoti hai.
***********************
Where were you born ?
sardar : Punjab.
Boss : which part ?
sardar : Kya which part ? Whole body born in punjab.
***********************
Sardar : What is the name of your car ?
Lady : I forgot the name, but is starts with "T".
Sardar : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai. Hamaara gaadi petrol se start hoti hai.
***********************
Sardar was busy removing a wheel from his auto. A man asks sardar why are you removing a wheel from your auto.
sardar : Cant you read the board. Parking is only for 2 wheeler
***********************
Interviewer : When is your birthday.
Sardar : 13th Oct.
Interviewer : which year ?
sardar : Oye Ullu ke patte : Every year.
***********************
2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1 : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
sardar 2 : Dont worry, I have one more
***********************
Q: Aapko garmi lage tho aap kya karthe hai?
sardar: cooler ke samne bait jatha hoon?
Q: phir bhi garmi lage tho
sardar: cooler on kar letha hoon
***********************
Santa came to Chennai and wanted to do shopping in Burma Bazaar. His Tamilian friend told him that the prices will be costly and hence asked him to bargain for half the price .
Santa went and asked the price of stereo for which the vendor told 2000 Rs.
Santa asked for Rs.1000.
The vendor told he can give for Rs.1800 for which Santa told no, no only Rs.900.
Vendor told ok, I will give it for 1500 Rs for which Santa bargained for Rs.750.
It was going on like this when finally vendor out of irritation said "I will give you the stereo free of cost."
Santa asked "Will you give two?"
***********************
There were 4 Sardars in Mumbai. They decided to start a business.
They had a lot of discussions on the type of business and finally decided to start a hotel.
They selected the best of locations and cooks and built the hotel.
The hotel was inaugrated and was awaiting its first customer.
The Sardars waited and waited but nobody turned up.
The story was the same the next day. A week passed but noboby turned up.
WHY?
Bcos there was a sign at the entrance "Visitors not allowed."
After the failure of their hotel they decided to start an auto garage.
They bought the best of car servicing equipments and soon started the garage.
The 4 Sardars waited that day for the first car to arrive but no car entered their Garage.
They waited for one day, 2 days ,a week but no car came to their garage.
WHY?
B'cos their garage was on the first floor.
***********************
A sardar always calls his wife as "dear, darling, sweet heart, jaanu" like that.
Why?
B'se he forgot her name.
***********************
sardar says "i saw my wife going to movie with a strange man"..his friend asks "didnt u follow then?"
sardar says "oye nahi yaar saala meri wife ko movie le gaya jo mei pehle dekh chuka tha.........."
***********************
Santa reported for his university final examination, which consists of "Yes/No" type questions. He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing it, marking the answer sheet Yes for Heads and No for Tails.
Within half an hour he is all done whereas the rest of the class is sweating it out. During the last few minutes, he is seen desperately flipping the coin, muttering and sweating.
The moderator, alarmed, approached him and asks what is going on.
Santa replies, "I'm rechecking my answers and I don't think I did very good."
***********************
first sardar says i kiss my wife everyday bfore i go to office
second says i kiss ur wife everyday after u go to office
other says no no i only kissed first
***********************
Lady to inspector Santa: My husband went to buy potatos 5 days ago, he hasn't came back yet!
Santa: Why don't u cook something else?
***********************
Pakistani, Bangladeshi and OUR Sardar are in a bar one night having a beer.
The Pakistani drinks his beer and suddenly throws his glass in the air,
pulls out a gun and shoots the glass to pieces.
He says "In Islamabad our glasses are so cheap that we don't need to drink
from the same one twice."
The Bangladeshi [obviously impressed by this drinks his beer, throws
his glass into the air, pulls out his gun and shoots the glass to pieces.
He says "In Dhaka we have so much sand to make the glasses that we don't
need to drink out of the same glass twice either."
OUR Sardar, cool as a cucumber, picks up his beer and drinks it, throws his
glass into the air, pulls out his gun and shoots the
Pakistani and Bangladeshi.
He says "In India we have so many Pakistanis and Bangladeshi that we don't
need to drink with the same ones twice."
Balle balle !!!!
***********************
Santa Sigh photographer focusing a dead body's face in a funeral function, suddenly all
relatives beat him why? He said "SMILE PLEASE
***********************
A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell. Santa does not turns up for 4 days.
Lady calls again, Santa replies: I am coming daily from 4 days, I press the bell,
but no one comes out.
***********************
A Sardar & his wife filed an application 4 Divorce.
Judge asked: How'll U divide your 3 children?
Sardar replied: Ok! We"ll apply NEXT YEAR
***********************
Ek sardar paani pee raha tha,..
ab sardar paani bhi nahi pee sakta kya,
usme bhi joke chahiye ?
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